I come from very little and from a home where choice is not exactly a word we used often. I had much less than I do today. Owning only one pair of jeans at a time, and we reused yogurt containers. Always having to share my school books because I couldn’t afford my own. When it came to my future and what I was going to do: there wasn’t much choice.
In fact, I never thought I would go to college. Everything changed when a generous man from the Unites States invested in me, seeing possibility. To this day, I am so thankful to him and I almost owe so much of my life to him. You can only imagine my happiness and gratefulness for being in this great country along with receiving a superb education.
It all sounds so glorious and it is. One of the things that I have noticed over the years from my fellow Bosnians who haven’t had the luck I have – have a different perspective about life and seem to be much more peaceful about life compared to many of us here in the US.
Well, over the last few years I have been observing the nature and progression of the life in the Unites States compared to that of my girlfriends back in Bosnia. They still don’t have much choice when it comes to their degrees or professions. Women often stay at home to be with their children because that is one of the things Bosnian culture values most.
The most fascinating thing is that, because they don’t have as much choice, they embrace what is in front of them and have simpler and more thankful existence. I am sure this is about to change any day now. I want to somehow mark it and talk about it and potentially (the philosopher that I am) extract few golden nuggets for all of us.
It really doesn’t make sense but there seems to be an internal shift of finding the good in anything when we don’t have the choice. Instead of “what if” we focus on “what is” and because no other choice is available, we become grateful for what is. What ifs are destroying women today. On that note:
I wish we had less choice.
And this just may be the day when feminists storm at my dorm demanding I go to where I came from.
This is a hard thing to say given that I am so utterly grateful to be here and for the opportunity to have any choice. Sometimes, it’s simply so overwhelming.
Clothes. Food. Apps. Books. Restaurants. Jobs. Design. Houses.
If you see me almost always wearing black, it’s not because someone died – it’s because it’s safe and I don’t have to choose. It’s almost like my security blanket and symbol of rebellion against so much fashion choice (and God knows I LOVE fashion). I also do happen to love black:)
One of the main reasons why most of the people I observe feel overwhelmed and stressed out is not being able to make a decision and run with it.
Total analysis paralysis.
Indecision is one of the most detrimental of things you can have in your life my friend because it robs you of life. It makes it hard to breathe and makes you feel less than. In the world where everyone seems to be getting along just fine, you can’t seem to make up your mind.
You are not alone, truly. Perceptions lie, almost all the time. We see what we want to see or what our monkey mind tells us to see.
So, what on earth is the solution?
It’s always the same: simplify your life. Since I don’t want this to become mini e-book, I will do another post on how the heck you actually do that from my immigrant minimalist- but who also loves fashion and gadgets – perspective. Stay tuned for that.
Would you like more of these tips?
Join the crowd and be happy you did.
But I find it interesting that we are often so thoughtful about others and it comes very naturally but when it comes to our own lives it can be much more difficult to be thoughtful.
The interactions we would share the following days would be one of the most powerful learning moments that could ever come from this experience
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