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Jasna Burza

Book, Bradley Richardson, I am so bloody excited to talk to you today you and I full disclosure really close friends connected the moment we met through our mentors, Chris and Laurie harder, right? And mentors at the time. And just like we get each other, which is what I love, and I love who you are as a human right, the character of Bradley. So welcome to our Monday conversation about I don’t know, advanced adulting starting over?

Bradley Richardson

Yes. All have it. Well, we are we are both adults, and we are trying to work at becoming more advanced at it. So yes, but no, you’re one of my favorite people, I you know, I’ve spent time in Minneapolis, we’ve spent time other places through our mentors, and you’re, you’re the real deal. And so that’s why we click and I just appreciate you sharing your your time and your people with me.

Jasna Burza

Oh, I could they’re gonna fall in love video, in the sea of garbage and noise. In the sea of real crappy advice. When people are really struggling, you come out like a fresh are a breath of fresh air, a fresh, new approach to life in general. And you just see it as it is. And it’s really, really exciting. And you have coined this term, advanced adulting, which is what all of us leave without even knowing that we needed to why don’t you tell us what advanced adulting is just so we so we can jump on board?

Bradley Richardson

Sure, you know, it’s funny, I, um, you know, the word the term adulting had been used, you know, years ago, for mostly millennials and keep people, my kids, you got three grown kids in their 20s. But advanced adulting is really, I look at it as the stuff that we all want you at a certain age or early stage of life more appropriately, it could be late 30s 40s 50s or beyond, but just you at a certain stage of life, that the things that we’re all supposed to know, supposed to really have our you know our stuff together. But we don’t, and you might in certain parts of your life, but nothing really prepare.

There’s no guidebook, no blueprint, and nothing really prepares you for things that we all experience. I don’t care where in the world you are, what your background, your education, your beliefs. We all go through things that are similar, whether that is in relationships, or like a marriage or starting over starting over again, your career, your children. And a lot of them are the things we don’t really like to talk about, you know, or we talk about to ourselves, or we think we’re the only ones and we’re not. And

Jasna Burza

it feels like we have this thing where it’s embarrassing to admit you’re in your 40s or 50s. And you feel like you have to start over again. It’s almost like there’s something wrong with us. And you say very often you say the fact that we’re often led to believe that we’re supposed to have our shit together at a stage and I’m like, they’re gonna do we don’t and it is okay, but let’s talk about it.

Bradley Richardson

Absolutely. And I think that’s part of it is right there as we go through and not some of its really positive and amazing and as you try and get better. And some of them’s just the, you know, real life shit. I mean, like, nobody sits there in their 20s and goes, well, you know what I’m gonna have this first marriage is gonna go and I wonder what it’s going to be like when they get divorced and start dating again. And the train wreck that that is at 47 No one thinks about that. And no one thinks about losing a parent being an empty nester. You know, trying to figure out what you want to do when you grow up for the third time that you know, your RE career yourself. And depression. Depression is another one, you know, and it’s just very common things that the more you put out there, everybody loves to put the in you and you wouldn’t reason you and you are so free of bullshit. And I love that. And that is that one of the things because there’s so much curation that goes on and social media of like, oh, you can do it?

Hey, sometimes it’s a kick in the ass. And I think all of us have, you know, male, female doesn’t matter. And I think to know that you’re not the only one to know that you don’t There is no perfect answer either. I think that’s it. A lot of people a lot of the snake oil people out there and influencers. Oh, here’s the answer. There is no one right answer. Everything is context. Everything is background, there’s gray, we’re in a world of gray, and what might work for you may not work for me, but to know that here is an option, or one of several options that you can choose. That’s what advanced adulting is about. It’s really starting over so you can live the best of the rest of your life.

Jasna Burza

Ah, the rest of the best of you. I love that. You know, it’s it is interesting that when we are going through something very painful that we look out for guidance, and very often fall prey to that like this is the formula. This is the way you got to approach and you were already there. Listen, you don’t know my life, I like your life, your life context where you come from how you operate. It’s different for everyone, which is why I just absolutely love it. And you do that, I think very successfully in these new mini classes that you’re doing. First of all, you’re blowing up on social media. I’m like, Who would have thought that Bradley the king of Tiktok?

Bradley Richardson

I know, right? I don’t like it. When I told my kids I said, What do you think about this? They’re like, Oh, geez, no, you know, it’s like something, you know, I’m gonna have some sort of restraining order and not allowed near schools or something. I thought, but no, I don’t dance. I don’t do you know, lip sync or anything like that? I just really looked at the Democrat. You know, it’s funny, because, again, you and I know each other through, through not just social media, but through a lot of the big true legit influencers, some of most of whom are very good hearted, but some of us just full of shit. And I think that what was funny, is, you know, for the longest time, you know, for me, it was the right message at the right time, you know, because I was, I was just, you know, on deaf ears for the longest time. But I think that now with so many people in midlife, you know, social media, I think a lot has has been focused on young folks. And now you look at the demographics be at a tick tock, which the numbers are insane, even Instagram and others. There are people who are in their late 30s 40s 50s and beyond, who are looking at that, and there are not a lot of voices that attract that. It’s this. This idea that oh, no, you’ve got to be super young and hot and do something dorky and you don’t, that’s part of it, right? There’s no true

Jasna Burza

but it’s landing. So it’s your speaking truth. There’s an expression that you really just people use that I can’t figure out why you’re speaking truth to power, right? Or something like that. It’s really lending because people need that advice right now. But what you’re doing something right now, it’s rather revolutionary with your start over school. Yeah. Tell us about that. Because people are freaking loving it.

Bradley Richardson

Well, thank you. Yeah. And they are It’s interesting. It’s some, you know, so I do like, like you, I mean, I do. I do group coaching and one on one coaching and write and, you know, speak and stuff. But what’s funny is there’s, you know, for those of you know, me, you can get free content anywhere and that’s great. And people like you and I put that out there and that’s wonderful. And, you know, to work with a coach or someone is not always a cheap deal. And you know, it’s funny, I’ve always, you know, I’m in Dallas, Texas, okay, home of Neiman Marcus. Okay, one of the most, you know, amazing high end department stores there is. But you know, why? Who would you rather be sure Neiman’s is awesome. But Walmart’s not bad. Either or target, okay, and Minneapolis. So you reach more people. And so I kind of know that it’s not I don’t want things to be a barrier to entry. And we start over schools that idea of sometimes people just need an SOS they need a help a lifeline. And so we start over school are created these kind of 60 to 90 minute, mini masterclasses for people that are affordable for people that might not have access to or be able to interested in or afford some super in depth program. So they’re under 100 bucks. You come in, you do a zoom call where i They’re topical. So like the one we did last month was I called it unmasked and authentic, how to discover if someone is truly being open. And if they’re worth your time, effort and heart. It’s an idea of the things that I learned in life and dating in my midlife but also as a headhunter. I was a headhunter for well over a decade. So some pragmatic things and mindset. The ones we’re doing upcoming ones, we’re doing some on caregiver burnout. So how you deal with aging parents, empty nester are doing on how do you start over again and go from a week to a May after a divorce. And so it’s an hour of teaching 30 minutes of q&a with me, and I record them and you get the replay. And it’s kind of a quick snippet, but it’s intense. And we do them via zoom. And like I said, it’s under 100 bucks. So people can come up, pop in and do those. And it’s worked out beautifully.

Jasna Burza

That’s why I really appreciate that because you’re very successful right now with your coaching and your master classes. And you I mean, you also hang out with some pretty darn cool people in this world. So to be able to have access to you, I think that to me, that is a paradigm shift to what so many of us have been taught is like, oh, you know, I remember one of my coach coaches telling me, you should not be accessible, you should be so inaccessible. They have to like literally, you know, take money out of their 401 K to like, work with you. And I’m like me, there’s people that are going to hire me for a very in depth work. But what you’re doing is really making it so approachable. I think making it easy to consume and actually get help that there really matters for people who would never have access to a coach normally.

Bradley Richardson

Well, thank you. And that’s the idea. Look, I mean, and I’m vulnerability is a weird word with men now, but it’s the idea of just being open or Access. Look, I got nothing to hide on this. I have I have about lost my mind a couple of times, like a lot of people, okay, where I’ve sat there going, you know, I need some help, or I need someone to talk to or I just need to, you know, give me a life raft somehow. And you know what’s funny is and you both know, some very successful, you know, accomplished, strong people who are all in that same boat, you know, and I think that’s the deal is, you know, do I have some high end things? Absolutely. You bet. But I’ve just, I’ve had the good fortune in my life. You’re right. I don’t tout the fact that I’ve been in the right rooms. I know some people who are household names. I’ve coached people who are so named, I’ve been there. You know, it’s so funny. A lot of people to my very first therapist ever as a young man was Dr. Phil, before he became famous, like when he was in which taught when he was in Wichita Falls. Yeah, so in college, I mean, so I’ve been there. And the idea of just means to be in the frame from West Texas, I don’t know. But it’s the, you know, I wanted something to be accessible. And that’s really, you know, it’s, you know, whether it’s, you know, we look at cars, you got a low end, you got a high end, and if people can I gravitate towards being able to be relatable, and that’s not you and I both know that whole world. That’s not a curation thing. I mean, hopefully the best thing people have said is like, you know, hanging out with you or listen to you just like having drinks with you go, well, mission accomplished. We go

Jasna Burza

well, what, you also have to ask yourself, what is your ultimate intention? Or what is your help? In terms of why you’re doing this? And if it’s to help people, you’re going to find a way? Well, you know, you’re such a believer that like, listen, life is gonna throw you some lemons and you just gotta make lemonade and the end you talk about it? First of all, if you’re watching this and listening later on on our podcast or any other social media channels, Bradley is putting out consistently unbelievable content that is micro content, but you you pack a punch brother, you just so beautiful on Tik Tok Instagram, YouTube, like you’re so go there, go get to know him trust that. But you know, what do you tell people who are like, oh, man, like I really I feel like I’m in my 40s or 50s. And I just need to transition I need to pivot should has hit a fan. What do I do? Now? You’re such a big believer of like, yes, it’s tough. But you can start over.

Bradley Richardson

You can you know what everybody has had to at some point? And it’s so funny. We didn’t know. Is it tough? Yeah. Is it tough? You know? Absolutely. Is it? Is it happened overnight? No, it doesn’t. I think that’s part of it. Right? There’s, we’ve been fed or led to believe this, this, these bullshit ideas of oh, there’s, you know, take the pill, you know, the, here’s this mantra, here’s this phrase that happens, it’s not okay. There are things that can make you feel better, that can send you on the right path. Sometimes you can hear the same message over and over again. And it finally is the timing and clicks. I think the hardest thing is, especially for midlife, okay, and this is probably the people who I don’t resonate with or my kids age. I mean, it’s just it’s it. I mean, I get along with my kids.

But the whole point is, people who are in their 20s or early 30s are just coming out with a it’s not a bad thing. It’s just they it’s a two totally different mindsets. And with this, I think that for people in midlife, a lot of us had been raised to believe, you know, that’s part of our problem. We carry along these expectations, this baggage, these scars, these experiences based on what other people how they’re how we were raised, or how people had led us to believe. So it’s like, oh, well dammit, you know what, you know, you’re sort of completely supposed to share and be open and take care of everybody else. And if you’re in a shitty situation, you fight through it, and you work hard. You know, sometimes when you wake up, you’re there is no fix, the fix is to change and the fix is to take care of you. And the fix is to leave and that does not mean you’re selfish. That does not mean being narcissistic. That just means Hey, sometimes, you know that and the other idea is this.

We do believe in chapters. Okay. I mean, you think is so many of the things that the way we were raised and how we encounter things was what you go, you have one spouse forever, you know, and I wish to got out ahead that okay, but didn’t pan out that way. I wish I had one job and you choose correctly. And that’s it. But really, you have about three different lifetimes when you think about it. And these giant changes, and hopefully, you know, it keeps clicking, and you build upon your successes and you learn from your failures on that. But sometimes when I say this, one of the one of the key things I say about a master adulting is who you are 45 or 55 has a dramatically totally different human being than you were at 25 or 35. And so you make different choices and you want different things and you have different boundaries. And I think that’s probably one of the biggest things for people in midlife is to go hey, you know what this worked up until now does that make me a bad human them a bad human a bad situation? A bad choice maybe. But it continues to be bad if you hang on to it, you know, or you don’t alter it or learn from it or change it

Jasna Burza

The past few drop it the faster you can pivot. So who is you know, I know that there’s a lot of people who are going through a change, or they’re really struggling with their mental health and like the hashtag that’s all of us post pandemic. But who is your ideal client? Like, who seeks our Bradley hood? And who do you work with, right? Because some people are not going to be some people like to hang on to their limitations, let’s just say it as

Bradley Richardson

they do. You know, and, you know, my, it’s funny, because I’d say probably good 70% of the people I deal with are women. Now. Men, there’s a growing trend towards men becoming much more open about these things, you know, and there’s some great guys doing good work and men’s work and men’s groups like that, I work with both men and women. Age range probably ends up being 40s 50s. And beyond, you know, and yes, in 60s, too. But it does ergonomic, it really doesn’t matter. It’s across the boat, I’ve worked with people who are, you know, eight figure people to blue collar to cops to whatever, it’s the idea of people who just know, they either know, they can do better want to do better want to do something different. And that’s it. And a lot of what I deal with, you know, we say advanced adulting there are some people doing good work out there in, you know, fitness and health, I’m not your guy for that, you know, what I deal with mostly is going to be, it revolves largely around the relationships and the relationships. I mean, it could be a romantic relationship, or partner or spouse or being single, but it also equally is equally as important is your friendships dealing with other people, your family members, those relationships, professional relationships, and I think it starts with this, and not to be corny, or cliche or woowoo. But it’s your relationship with yourself. And those, that’s what I really focus on. If someone’s going, hey, it’s who I don’t work well with professional victims. You know, I just don’t, okay, because I’m sorry, I’ll call your shit on that. And that’s it.

Jasna Burza

And such a thing. Let’s just leave it is there is such a thing as people who are professional victims, because, you know, they gain there’s a credible book, Ted, which I Oh, I can’t remember exactly what it stands for. But you’ve read this like they get power from being victims because then I get bitching, right?

Bradley Richardson

Absolutely. You know it like it validates your excuses. It does it validates your excuses The hardest thing or anybody in everybody’s is different this is it, you know, but everybody has to have that. You know, like whether you won’t call it Shadow Work the come to Jesus talk, whatever, you know, I dark night of the soul. I mean, I’ve had mine and it is the when you stop I forget who it is Mel Robbins or Brene Brown or someone like that talks about the it’s the idea of when you kind of stop believing the bullshit stories you tell yourself, then you’re ready to start doing something opens up.

Oh, and I remember I mean it shit. It was a few years ago, I was kind of going through that. And I had some people who were very close to me, call me out and I wasn’t ready for it when I finally was you know? Yeah, I found myself going back to my roots and driving across West Texas, you know, just asking myself Why did you give away power? Where is that power? You know, and it’s the idea of you know, I use this phrase a lot boots, roots and big rocks and the boots thing is for a lot of us.

Cuz I again, I’m degeneration Texan from from Lubbock, but it’s the idea of, you know, sometimes I had so much dust on my boots, I forgot what color they were. I think so many times we are these chameleons what society or culture or the relationship or work or whatever expects of us, we forget what our true color is. And I think that’s the deal is not this finding yourself and go and hanging out in Costa Rica with spider monkeys. It’s a matter of just figuring out what color you really are. And being that and the right people and situations are going to come to you at that point.

Jasna Burza

Oh my gosh, I love that. Ladies and gentlemen, this is precisely why I love Bradley Richardson. So imagine why you will do because it’s I feel like you’ve gotten a taste of you know, what was the kind of work that he does and the kind of truth selling and getting to the fact of the matter that he does he I just love that about you. I feel like you and I should have like a chat every week because like where do we I don’t know. I don’t want to end this like this is this is amazing. So Bradley, where can people find you? How do they get in touch with you? Etc, etc.

Bradley Richardson

Yeah, absolutely. The two best places to get me I’m on Instagram more than anything so on Instagram, TikTok, and then my website. They’re all I’m Bradley Richardson. So simple is that I’m Bradley Richardson. Those are my three biggest places, and I would you know, when you get there, if you follow me on social on Insta, on you can DM me but also go to the links in the bio there. And the link tree there I’ve got things I do kind of one of my ways given back there once a month, I do these occasional pop up meetups. And so it’s like if people sign up for it through zoom, you got to sign up for it, but it’s free. And I’ll do like an hour and a half q&a, just come one come all.

And then I’m doing start over school. The mini classes that we’re talking about, we’re doing two this month, so they can sign up to get notified about those as well. Those are the best things, but I just love the engagement. I think that’s the biggest piece is you know, it’s not the vanity metrics of oh my god, I got followers, it’s like when you go in, and please follow me on either of those. But instance, you know, a big one V engagement and people opening up their heart and their soul is pretty cool. And that’s the neatest part right? There

Jasna Burza

it is, but and then you feel like oh my god, here’s someone who’s really honest and say sensitive as it is. And it really is helpful, but I feel like I’m not alone. And I’m not crazy. So it’s just very affirming.

Bradley Richardson

That’s it. But the funny thing is it little off subject. But when that happens, I think the hardest thing for people average anybody really is, you know, we have our friends, okay. But I did a video on this last week. It’s this idea that history doesn’t mean connection. Now, just because we have history with somebody, we’ve known them for a long time doesn’t necessarily mean we’re connected anymore. As both of you all change and go through things. They still love you. They’re still there. But what you need from each other is probably very different. Sometimes it’s hard because they enable you all you know, just stick it out or you’ll get through it or whatever. And sometimes having a completely objective viewpoint is a really good thing.

Jasna Burza

And on that note, I love you. Thank you for showing up. Thank you for being who you are think for for really, truly wanting to make such a radical difference in the world, especially right now when so many of us are spinning. So folks, we’re going to include Bradley’s website links here, Instagram and Tiktok above below to the side wherever this ends up airing. And make sure that you go and say hi to Bradley and you will understand why he is so popular and why people love him so much. So, Bradley, let’s do this again. They love

Bradley Richardson

to thank you. I appreciate you so much. Thank you.