Vulnerability as a gift

Sometimes, it seems as if the world will eat us alive if we appear sensitive and vulnerable. In fact, many see our sensitivity and vulnerability as a weakness. I know this all too well: having lived through war I decided to appear in the world as strong, resilient and cold. I imagined that this was the way to walk through life unscathed.

It worked, for the most part.

What I didn’t anticipate was how lonely this path would be. The moment I opened the soft, sensitive, vulnerability filled side of me to the world, a whole new world of authenticity opened up. I learned that vulnerability and exposing my sensitivities didn’t mean that I wasn’t strong at the same time. In fact, that strength came to be something much more powerful.

Dr. Brene Brown has spent the last decade researching and talking about vulnerability. If you haven’t seen her TED talk, I highly recommend you see it HERE.  Her research showed that while we try and fight against vulnerability, it is our greatest strength and a doorway to joy, love and happiness. She has written a number of books on this topic and I highly recommend them.

Sensitivity by “D”

Sensitivity is a virtue, not a vice. A blessing disguised as a burden for those who choose to operate under the guise of an apathetic mask. Yes, sensitivity can be a beautiful thing, but it requires its keeper to have a stronger dedication to living life.

The sensitive cry even upon hearing the sad story of a stranger, we are hypnotized by paintings on the wall, and become immersed in the sounds of music, and the characters that appear in the movies and on the street. A smile, a billboard, a phone call, or a piece of chocolate cake can turn our entire day around.

We are quickly and unapologetically consumed by emotion… our happy beams just as sunny and golden as it did when we were children and our sadness weeps willow trees and water falls.

We feel the brilliance of every color in the rainbow. And this is terrifying to people who are afraid of their own capacities to react authentically to all of the wonders of their worlds!

I have seen the man behind the counter at Starbucks, and the girl in line at the bookstore, and the child skipping down the sidewalk stare back at me, puzzled and retreating in confusion, uncertain who this woman might be who actually looks at them and really tries to see them. The one who watches all of these people, even the presumably insignificant wandering pedestrians, busy shoppers, hard workers, and brave mothers being climbed on by their children like jungle gyms and wonders with all of her heart who they are and what are their stories.

Because the sensitive is so sensitive that she desires to know these strangers as friends. What makes them through their heads back in laughter?

Do they have anybody to share their secrets with?

Who or what do they pray to?

Have they ever fallen in love, and how many times? What do they dream about at night?

And what is the one thing stopping them from changing their lives?

I believe that we are all part of one human family, and I know that belief is a blessing. Who else walks through the world that way?

Only a sensitive, sensitive to all in her surroundings. So although my sensitivity offers me tears instead of teeth and claws in countless arguments where I’ve wanted to appear strong, I accept it and I am grateful for it.

Sensitivity makes me more caring and careful, open and honest. Because I am sensitive, I see beauty in strange places and I always feel called to listen, help, and heal.

I must never allow anybody to trick me into believing that my sensitivity is a weakness, because I know with every fiber of my being that it is not. My relationships with people and places are richer and fuller because of it. I will no longer deny the significance of this divine and luminous gift.